+ sista's journal +

an update after half a year.

2007-06-15T07:48:59Z

nothing changed.
still the same.

anyway, i came back to writing here because my friend introduced me to this url:

http://community.livejournal.com/sgspree
and
http://community.livejournal.com/_spreee

for online shopping in singapore.
the price is of course cheaper than outside as they ordered directly from the origin company.

i have never tried but my friend did.
and she was so happy about it.

i am on shopping diet..
so i shall not browse any longer.

heheheheh..

...

2006-08-27T12:32:02Z

Words are the things that I don't have.
I am terrible with words..

dunno what to say..

i used to have many things on mind to speak out..
but in front of u why my mind is blank??
i dun like this kind of feeling..
why it keeps on coming >_<

wish if i could stay there just now..
wish if i could accompany u..
just stay there..
altho I have nothing to say..

please don't make me leave ..

the way i think things is different..
is it that much difference?
don't i have anything in common?

why can't i stop thinking about ..
I just hate it when I did that!

so sad...

God.. no matter what.. thank You!

love is in the air..

2006-08-24T18:16:44Z

starting from my cousin's sms.
well.. this cousin of mine is getting married..
actually oredi married taon lalu sign ROM (Register of Marriage, if i'm not wrong) gitu..
tapi baru bakal di pestain skrg hehe.. makanya gw bakal balik indo nich... can't wait dechh..
too excited.. haha tgl 31 August 2006 I will go back to INDO, YES, AT LAST I CAN HAVE A BREAK FROM WORKING!

Kayanya gw udah bosen dech ama kerja..
It's too stressing..
Jadi pengen pindah ke Australia aja dech..

btw back to my cousin's sms.. dia suruh gw cariin lagu2 love songs gitu buat weddingnya dia.. dadakan amat..
akhirnya gw cari2 dech.. minta2 dari temen2..
dapet deh beberapa yang gw suka, the best dech:
Melissa Manchester - Looking Through the Eyes of Love
Duncan James & Keedie - I Believe My Heart Full
Christian Bautista - The way you look at me
en masi banyak lagi...

Duh lagu2 ini bener2 bikin pengen fall in love haha..
so romantic....
can't wait to meet my prince charming haha..

udah jam 2 nich.. i gotta sleep kalo ga ntar gak bisa bangun hehe..
Have a lovely day, guys!
Be in love..
For God's love is always overflowing and never-ending :D

brr....

2006-08-07T04:49:23Z

so cold...

wonder why I feel so cold..
I ate a lot yesterday hehe..

yesterday afternoon I ate gado-gado and drank avocado juice at ayam penyet.
yesterday nite I ate 1 yakiniku mos burger and a cup noodle haha.. crazy.. plus 1 big yellow banana, while watching my friend borrowed me dvd Yours, Mine and Ours.. quite a nice family movie.. he he he..

things on my plate:
- youth fun day money
- youth monitoring website
- canre claim website
- library website
- nus fa
- tue fa

huhuhu so many things to do..
God, please help me! ;)
Thanks.

x-tra happy ----- py ----- py ----- py -----

2006-07-20T08:45:41Z

That's my nickname tag :D

I am so happy..
extremely happy..
really really happy...
and yet I do not know why I am this happy.

Is it because I just solved all my tasks?
Maybe..

but I know one thing..
this is the joy that God has given me and I will treasure it.
haha I can't stop smiling...
oh Thank You God..
I feel like crying.. but it's a happy cry..

Anyway.. few days ago I felt my mood was really bad..
But suddenly just now.. few minutes ago.. God has given me such wonderful joy.
Thank You, Lord.. I can never thank You enough.. for You are such a wonderful God.

Yesterday I needed to update some stuff so I slept around 12.30 am
It has been days, weeks, or even months.. I didn't have a proper sleep..
Everyday is like 6-7 hours..
fyi, my proper sleeping duration is 8 hours and above hehe..
That nite I remembered I needed to stock up my tissue, then because I was so sleepy so I went to sleep right away without stocking up the tissue but I asked God to remind me to stock up my tissue before I slept.

This morning I didn't feel like working, thinking of taking MC.
I have never taken MC btw..
Because in order to take MC, I need to go to the doctor.. and I hate going to the doctor!
Not about the money, coz I can claim hehe.. it's just that I dun like going to the doctor.

Anyway.. I did wake up around 7.45am.
I was supposed to leave my home around 8am!
7.45am masi mengulet2 di ranjang.. till around 7.50.. hihi..
mandi then pilih2 baju..
8.15 oredi! waaa... so late..

At last I went off from home around 8.25am.
Before leaving, God is such an awesome GOD!
In those rushing time, yet He remembered my request.
He reminded me about the tissue..
He's kewl, isn't He?
Hehehe.. He never let me down..
never ever.. everytime I asked Him to remind me of something, He always does hehehe..
Thank You, God, even a small thing.. You are such an AWESOME GOD.

8.25am was quite late.. the latest ever my leaving time was 8.15am!
And it took me around 45 minutes to go to office.
So.. I prayed that the bus can come right away.
And YES, as I was walking to the bustop.. the bus was coming..
PERFECT! Hehehe...
God is such a good GOD!
And yang lebih mengherankan.. I didn't come late.
Around 9am I reached the bustop near my office.. heheheh.. :D

Pokoknya keren dech..
When you rely on God..
He will help you go through everything..

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

This verse is truly correct!
AWESOME!

human's unique emoticon

2006-07-11T08:41:24Z

yeah.. sometimes i feel i dun understand myself..
aneh aja.. just wierd gitu..

like now.. suddenly out of nothing.. i feel so happy.
at the same time, i feel headache..
pusing gitu kepala.. mebi terlalu senang jadi pusing kepala? lho? hahaha.. ga jelas dech..
bisa seneng gitu dech ga tau kenapa..
aneh ya?

i also discovered another thing.
beberapa taon ini .. rasanya aku suka dech kalo liat anak-anak..
they are so cutee... lucu buanggettt...
padahal dulu gw ga gitu suka anak-anak..
aneh kan?
hahaha.. apa emang karena aku bertumbuh menjadi dewasa jadi suka anak-anak wakaka..

duh pusingnya kepalaku.... huhuhuhu... kenapakah gerangan diriku ini??

untung hari ini engga ada kerjaan hehehe..
jadi a bit relaxed.. :D

anyway whatever happened.. thanks God.. for everything..

oiya aku mau tulis testimony..
Since working, aku kasi perpuluhan ke gereja.
And aku bener-bener ngerasa how important to give tithe to the church where we're growing as a Christian.
Like now.. temen-temenku semua dapet gaji telat.. telatnya bisa gak ukur-ukur..
1 minggu sampe 3 minggu.. it's like a month late gitu..
but aku dapet salary selalu on time..
bahkan by grace of God..
Tuhan selalu mencukupi seluruh kebutuhanku..
Tuhan itu so wonderful..
Aku sampe gak habis pikir Tuhan itu koq baek banget yach...
How can my God be so... kind.... unimaginable dech...
luar biasa deh pokoknya... unbelievable!

O iya btw bahkan yach.. selain aku selalu dapet salary on time, Tuhan also gave me a rise in salary atawa naek gaji hehe..
Baek kan Tuhan itu..

Another thing..
when we give our best to God, God will give His best to us.
and of course.. His best is even much better than our best donkz..

Awesome God!
Thank You, Jesus!

Sweet Jesus, Thank You!

2005-09-01T16:13:05Z

Today has been real great for me..

not because my office atmosphere was good..
not because my boss wasn't around for the day..
not because I solved some problematic problems..
not because I had lunch at suntec city..
not because the next door company's boss was banging the desk, angry on the phone..

But it's all because of God's grace to me..
I'm overflowed with joy..
The joy of the Lord is the best.. ever..

2 hours in the presence of the Lord passed by so fast..
His words are just delightful..
He is just awesome, marvellous, magnificent, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, comprehensive beyond our description and imagination..

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
Psalm 1:2-3

What does a Christian do?
Believe in the Lord and act according His words.
Yeah, I know.. some are kinda hard to do so, however there is nothing impossible with the Lord to guide us, as long as we are willing.

Lord doesn't ask for your ability, only your availability; if you prove your dependability, He will increase your capability.

We need to make a difference!
Pray for the changes in your surroundings.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16b

I want to love You more than anything or anyone in my life.
I want to see You smiling on every deed that I did.
I want You to warn me whenever I did something wrong, please do not leave me doing wrong deed.
I want to be close to You forever more.
I want to obey all Your commandments.

Ps. Indri last week said that once we're in love with Him, we will consider thinking bible as His love letters to us. When I heard that, I was just agreeing, but feeling nothing special. But now I know, it's real.. when you are in love .. you won't be bored reading your lover's love letters.

Let Your Words be my delight, Lord.

Thanks for keeping my every drop of tears.
Thanks for knowing me more than I do myself.
Thanks for Your gentle never-bored-notice on me :D
Thanks for waking me up every morning.
Thanks for the overflowing joy, grace, love that You have given me.
Thanks for a bunch of fabulous, funny, cute, kind friends that You have given to accompany me.
There are heaps of things that I want to thank You inexpressibly but You see my heart.
Thanks for everything..

Thank you for this day, such a wonderful day!

betapa bedanya..

2005-04-21T13:39:37Z

betapa bedanya cowok di indo dengan cowok di singapore..

barusan gw pegi ama temen gw, dia bawa temennya dari indo.
Aduh gentlemennyaa......
tidak pernah kujumpai cowok se-gentlemen ini di Singapore!!!
Sampe shocked daku melihat ke-gentlemen-an nya..

Andai aja cowok-cowok Indonesia yang di Singapore se-gentlemen dia..

Kenapa gw bisa bilang dia gentlemen?
well.. tadi kan kita jalan-jalan cari kado buat temen gw, walao so short but I know he's so gentlemen.
kaya mo ambil barang di tempat tinggi, dia langsung sigap membantu.
Terus balikin barang, dia juga sigap membantu.
Kaya beli barang, dia sigap juga membantu bawain.
Pokoknya lain deh ama cowok Indo yang di Singapore..

heran... well.. maybe ada sih yang gentlemen di Singapore, cuma so far koq gw kaga pernah bertemu ya...
heran oh heran..
hahaha...
ok d have fun guys..

is it me or pmt?

2005-04-14T16:16:58Z

well.. just feeling low today..
dunno why..

my english, is it that bad that my cousin's work that i helped her doing was needed to all be replaced?
what ever..

why's it everytime i like someone..
it looks like i dun like him
looks like i dun care about him
looks like i'm keeping a distance from him
it's totally wierd!

i'm feeling so down.. so low..
so dunno what to do..
so wierd feelings..

is it me or pmt?

I'm so stupid, am I?

2005-03-24T02:37:58Z

huhuhu.. barusan ada temen gw, co yang mayan gentlemen.. dia mo pinjem something.. terus tadi kan dia ambil, dia benernya ngajakin barengan peginya sih.. tapi gw bilang gw masi .5 jam lagi peginya (dalam hati gw jg bimbang.. 'karena kan cuma .5 jam.. it's like so near lhe..') and dia jg ngajakin makan bareng sgl macem. Tapi biasanya gw makan bareng ama temen gw jam 2 after lecture .. so I said "hmm.. biasa gw makan after lecture sih.. lagian gw males dateng ke uni pagi-pagi.. engga ada kerjaan.."
(dalam hati '!@#$%^&* oh no.. what did I say?') Alhasil dia pegi sendirian de.. mebi tertolak.. gw jd gak enak jg nih...

Duh.. bego ya gw.. kenapa gw kaga mau diajakin lunch itu huhuhu.. bodohnya diriku..
payah ya.. gimana caranya dpt co kalo gini .. yah sutra lah.. God will make a way kalo emang dia jodohku hahaha..

Trust in the Lord!

2005-03-23T15:57:32Z

Oh how I miss blogging in this blog. Feelin' like bloggin in English ^-^
How's everyone doin'?

O yea, just now I came across this foem (friend on the move, my church weekly youth article) when I was stacking my books.

Q: What is the shortest chapter in the bible?
A: Psalms 117

Q: What is the longest chapter in the bible?
A: Psalms 119

Q: Which chapter is in the center of the bible?
A: Psalms 118

Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118
Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118

Q: What is the center of the verse in the bible?
A: Psalms 118:8

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. - Psalms 118:8

God is always in the center

When things get tough, always remember...
Faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you through it!

God bless you!

sistasi @ 2004-09-17T12:39:00

2004-09-17T05:08:42Z

how can i like him?

events in the past returned back to my mind while i was exercising in the gym..
4 years ago, we had a good time together..
I invited him to my TMC friends' BBQ, it was loads of fun, I enjoyed it..
However I was still stupid at that time.. I only had fun when I was with friends..

We dated several a few times..
I still remember when he asked me to come to his sister's BBQ ..
I didn't come.. coz I was too afraid to come since I didn't know any of his sisters, his friends..
I thought if I came I'd be standing alone.. like a dumb statue..
I was too negative thinking..

Another thing.. I remember I ever sms-ed him those junk stuff, u know those funny funny stuff hehe....
However, he was in Indo at that time and I didn't know..
Few days later.. when he got back here.. he called me 'did you sms me?'

There was this time when he asked me to go with him to a concert..
I didn't go either.. I was too stupid.. and I just realized it now.. X(
We lost contact since then.. however, I still had his number.

On my birthday this year, I met him again in a dinner and dance party.
I came to this party with my friend and cousin..
I saw him walking alone, passing me by.. going upstairs..
As we were upstairs, I saw him again, he was with his friends chatting..
I greeted him 'Hi..' and we had a little chat before entering the party.

In the middle of the party, my cousin went back, leaving me alone with my friend.
During break in the party.. I went to the toilet.. after that, I met him outside the toilet..
He was with his friend, then we talked a bit..
Can't remember who started the conversation:
him: 'Why didn't you go to the stage to join the games?'
me: 'Um.. no lah..'
him: 'So whom ru goin with to this party?'
me: 'Um.. I'm with my cousin, but she is gone now, leaving me alone.'
*hihihi evil me, I excluded that friend of mine*
him: 'So you are alone?'
*o ow.. hehehe.. I actually can hang out with him a little longer and leaving that friend of mine.. but since I pitty him (that friend), so I quickly returned back to accompany him X( then I lost my chance ..*
me: 'yea.. but I've gotta go back now... sorry.. we keep in contact ok..'
him: 'oh ok.. cya..' *he said this with his cool voice..*

What's on my mind at that time.. WOW he's so coollllllllll hehehe...
Since that moment, I think I started liking him..
The next day.. I invited him to my birthday celebration.. he did come =) I was so happy...
The next week.. I went to East Coast with my friends.. since there were not many of us, my friend wants to have more ppl going to East Coast.. so I invited my friends, including him..
I sms-ed his Singapore no..
Delivered but no reply..
Then.. the next day he sms-ed me back using his Indo hp number, he was in Indonesia..
Btw.. this guy I like is a busy guy.. hehe.. always travels here and there..

The next week on Friday I wanted to watch movie.. but there was no one to accompany..
So I decided to go out with my FA friends.. but not all was willing to go..
There were only 3 girls and 1 guy..
I felt that it wasn't balance enough to have a go haha..
So I asked my friends who can joined us.. 2 replied... including him hohoho.. =D
He said 'Hi, I'm here, just got back yesterday ...'
me: 'So dya wan to join us watching movie at 7pm?'
him: 'Oh ok, I'll go straight from the office to there then..'
So we did went out together, 6 of us... we just watched movie though..
Since he lived somewhere near my building.. he drove me back home.. ^-^
On the way home, I asked him when will he go back to Indo?
He said.. 'This sunday I'm goin back to Indo..'
Hix hix.. so soon... in my mind: maybe he got a gf oredi.. and she might be in Indo??

Since then.. I'm too afraid to sms him again.. since he didn't even respond, as in he never sms me unless I sms him.. I do not wan to be an agressive girl..

Now that I started liking him.. I can't stop thinking of him.
What dya guys think?
Btw.. dya think it's ok to sms him? But I dun wan to be an agressive gal.. and moreover he only sms me when I sms him first..
Dya think I should stop liking him?
How to make this feeling go away?

Wonder why I like him.. x(
Wonder why I was so stupid 4 years ago..

short crush

2004-08-20T15:33:53Z

mayan lama engga update ini blog hehe.. maklum uda masuk kul neh..

pst pst pst...
hihi.. gw kasi tau.. gw lagi suka ama 1 cowok.. tetangga gw.. well not exactly tetangga lah.. beda building tapi deket gitu de hehehe..

gw udah tau dia lumayan lama sih.. heheheh sejak gw pertama kali di singapore sih.

kita sering pegi bareng dulu, di sekolah gw yang lama.. sekolah jelek jadi santai bisa main² terus hehe kaga kaya skrg penuh dengan penderitaan >_< seru deh dulu .. hehehe gw perna inget gw ajakin dia bbq ama temen² sekolah gw, mayan seru sih hehe..

nah waktu gw di jodohin suruh ke semacam dinner n dance party gitu yang post kemaren itu eh setelah ampir 2 taon an tidak kontek akhirnya kita ketemu di sono... duh kerennya dia... too bad waktu itu gw ama co yang 'dijodohin' itu (let's call him A).. =(

akhirnya waktu gw abis dari toilet ketemu ama dia hohoho.. hatiku pun riang gembira hoho.. terus ngomong sebentar.. senengnyaa tapi too bad ga bisa lama² karena gw harus balik nemenin tu coA karena engga enak kan masa gw tinggal gitu aja.. btw it was on my birthday, but no one in that party knows since i know nobody there haha....

co A itu bener² ga gentlemen deh... engga perlu di sebutin lebih lanjut.. males ngebahasnya hehe.. n gw jg ga mau ngejelek²in dia lebih lagi haha..

btw then the next day.. 1 day after my bday gw mo traktir temen² gw makan, terus dengan dukungan dari sepupu gw, gw ajak tetangga co gw yang keren itu juga hohoho ^-^ mayan seru karena abis makan, kita naek kapal (walao kapal butut) untuk liat fireworks (menjelang Singapore's independence Day)

di kapal seru de hehehe.. berduaan hohoho... tapi too bad dia tuh orangnya sibuk gitu.. bisa bisa seminggu doank berada di singapore.. dia bilang sih 1 minggu harus ada di batam, then di sby then di jkt.. terbang sono sini gitu.. dia bilang cape..

hix hix hix... since then ga pernah kontek deh.. ga tau dia di mana skrg.. dia very busy sih =(

that's the end of the short crush hehe...

the question is: gimana yach caranya spy bisa lanjut? haha..

stress?

2004-07-20T09:57:58Z

Tadi tiba² auntie gw panggil gw buat ngomong², dia bilang gw orangnya terlalu tertutup dan udah tanda² stress..

Gw melongo..
bingung mo ngomong apa..
ga tau emang kalo ama auntie gw susah ngomong.. engga ada topik gitu..
Emang sih gw orang nya tertutup kalo ama keluarga.. tapi malah terbuka kalo ama temen² hehe aneh ya.. makanya waktu gw engga ada temen baek kaya sekarang ini jadi keliatan stress..

Btw.. hari ini auntie n uncle gw yang dari indo mo pegi ke Oz ama temennya. Mereka sekarang di luar ngomong², ada anaknya temennya juga yang adalah temen gw smp dulu. Ketua kelas gw waktu di smp hehehe.. anaknya chubby, lucu jg haha..

Di luar tuh rame buanget..
ada uncle + auntie gw yang mo ke oz, temennya (oom n tante) + anaknya, sodara gw + co-nya.

Doh.. tau deh gw jadi pusing, auntie gw mau ngejodohin gw ama anaknya oom n tante itu..
maksa banget... X( pusing gw..
sebelumnya sodara gw bilang gw engga usa ikut n gw ada tugas ushering gereja sih so akhirnya gw decide untuk do ushering di gereja.

Terus pas mo berangkat gw dipaksa suruh ikutan n gw paling benci kalo dipaksa deh makanya gw jadi males n engga jadi ikutan. Auntie gw pasang tampang bete gitu.. ga tau deh gw... pusing sendiri gw paling BENCI kalo dipaksa :( tauk deh... puyenk..

Btw.. gw mau mandi dulu ya guys.. mo ada ushering thaa....

sistasi @ 2004-07-16T15:21:00

2004-07-16T07:22:43Z

hari terakhir kerja di sini, abis bagi² kue ke colleagues kita hehehe.. terus gw kasi buku Purpose Driven Life buat temen secubicle gw heheh.. hopefully that book can help her deh..

sistasi @ 2004-07-14T11:19:00

2004-07-14T03:28:31Z

Tempted

Oh ya....
Betapa aku tergoda
Tergoda untuk membuang semua
Semua yang ternyata tidak berharga
Berharga hanya karena semua bilang begitu
Begitu yang begitu absurd
Absurd yang akhirnya membuatku hampir mati
Mati pun tidak ada yang peduli
Peduli setan
Setan?
?!
!

diambil dari sianjinglaut.blogspot.com
tadi barusan dikasi ama sodaraku.

mati?
how dya like it to be?
jangan mati deh..
tell u again suicide is the express way to hell!

nge-blog is the effective way to kill my time (for me) beneran..
ini 3 hari terakhir sebelum i meninggalkan kantor.
tinggal besok n lusa...
tadi masuk kantor abis ngapa²in koq masi jam 9.40
ehhh abis nge-blog koq jadi uda jam 11.21 skrg hehe..

i love blogging!
blog makes my day brighter hehehe..
duh ntar kalo udah masuk uni.. bisa bisa berabe nih..
i won't have time to blog anymore..
apalagi next semester gw bakal ambil 1 module yang projectnya gila²an!
Itu module walau cuma 1 tapi workloadnya udah kaya ambil 2 modules!

sejak kemaren kemaren i nonton love at the eagen sea
bagus lho ini film baru main di sctv kayanya
yang main tommy su and chae rim (bintang film korea) + peter ho (penyanyi yang nyanyi lagunya 'Mei you ni wo zhe me ban', dulu itu lagu kesayangan gw hehe..)
film nya shootingnya di yunani, canada n shanghai .. yang di yunani keren banget... hehe..
plato's eternity.. hohoho...
masi belon selesai sih nontonnya ada 40 vcd sih.. hehe.. gw baru sampe vcd no 5 kali hehe..
gw mau bikin list vcd2 yang udah gw tonton ah hehe.. saking isengnya gw nih..

Happy Birthday to Lee Byung Heon!

2004-07-12T07:47:46Z

Hepi bday to u, hepi bday to u, happy bday, happy birthday, happy b...i...r..t..h...d...a..y.... toooo u.....

ternyata yang ultah tgl 12 bulan july bukan cuma LBH, ponakan gw juga ultah lho! hehe.. umur 4 th hehe Hepi birthday to Phoebe!
kemaren kita bbq buat ngerayainnya, photo? jelas donk kita photo² hehe liat sini

more info? liat aja ke blog gw

hari ini hari senin terakhir aku kerja hehe.. coz this week is my last week working here. Me n temen gw bingung nih.. kalo biasa selesai kerja gitu kita perlu kasi ke orang² itu apa yach? temen gw sih bilangnya beliin aja makanan kaya kue gitu.. wat dya think? maklum baru pertama kali keluar kerja dengan baik2 huahahaha..

so far gw dulu pernah kerja di kfc n pizza (lupa namanya hauha..) keluarnya dengan engga enak.. karena managernya rese.. engga kuat so cabut hehe.. nakal ya gw.. itu dulu hihi.. skrg udah kaga koq haha.. *membela diri*

sistasi @ 2004-07-09T13:24:00

2004-07-09T05:27:53Z

On which planet you should live on?

Kenyang.. abis makan siang hehehe.. setelah tadi kedinginan karena kemaren engga makan malem.. cuma makan strawberries n 1 pisang doank.

Orang-orang di kantor gw koq pada ngilang semua ya.. ada apakah gerangan? tiba-tiba kantor ini yang biasanya hectic jadi sepi... --------- s i i i n n g g g -------- bilangnya temen gw sih mereka pada pergi outing ke Johor Baru - Malaysia. Tapi kemaren koq kita engga dikasi tau sih? ya udah lah gpp.. sometimes sepi itu malah enak hihi.. Andai kalo bos nya supervisor kita engga masuk, kita pasti bisa cabut hehe.. itulah yang ada dipikiran kita waktu makan siang. Temen gw malah bilang gini 'Oh.. I like the feeling of breaking the rules' *gw mendelik* dalam hati 'dasar nih anak!'

O ya kemaren malem tuh.. ada doa pengerja di gereja jam 7.30 karena tempatnya jauh dari kantor gw so jam 8 an gw baru sampe di gereja, alhasil tidak sempet makan malem. Doa nya selesai jam 10.30 or 11 an deh.. As a servant of God.. gw kadang feel myself engga layak to be a servant of God. Orang yang kaya gw males.. sukanya up and down mulu.. engga bisa stabil.. anyway God is so good that He let me serve him.. and I thank God for that.

Kemaren was so good, great, wonderful, awesome.. and everything.. as u guys know.. kemaren kemaren tuh I lagi tergila² ama Lee Byung Hun (photonya? liat post sebelumnya). Di doa pengerja gw engga bisa feel anything. Everyone was so happy with the experience with the Lord but me? I can't feel it! Tuhan kembali ngingetin gw.. Dia mengetuk hati gw and said 'Where am I in your heart?' oh... hati gw jadi terenyuh.. gw langsung minta maaf... merasa bersalah banget gw..

gw aja bisa mengemarin Lee Byung Hun (LBH), kenapa gw engga bisa lebih menggemarin penciptanya Lee Byung Hun?

Lee Byung Hun emang cakep tapi tentu lebih wonderful lagi penciptanya dia! That's my God. Satu hal yang gw sayangin banget dari LBH.. kenapa dia tidak mengenal Jesus.. I believe God even loves him more than I do, of course.. Semoga aja dia bisa mengenal Tuhan deh.
Yesterday nite He has changed my heart .. my mind .. and my soul .. He's too good to be true.. my one and only God. He's so kind.. bae banget ..

Btw, mulai tanggal 1 August di gereja gw bakal ada FA Campaign ngikutin 'Purpose Driven Life', gonna be exciting.. it's harvest time.. and yes, we are ready for it.
Thank you, Lord for my life ^-^

sistasi @ 2004-07-06T12:30:00

2004-07-06T05:39:00Z

	Gue	Dia
Mulai kerja	Dari kemaren sore	Baru tadi pagi
Kerjaannya kelar	12.25pm	sampe skrg belon kelar
Jumlah document complaint	none	3
Jumlah keluhan	2	berkali² sampe gak kehitung
Jumlah kerjaan selesai	6 documents	1 done, 1 in progress
Kapasitas chatting	1/10 menit	1/2menit

Aduh... hehehe.. gw gara² nonton 'Beautiful Days' jadi suka banget nih ama Lee Byung Hun hehehe... ultahnya bentar lagi lho hehe 12 july.. hihihi... sayang dia 12 taon lebi tua dari gw n dia terkenal... hix hix hix.. coba kalo dia kerja di sini juga.. co yang kemaren itu? wah udah lupa tuh hahahaa lol.. eh cakepppp yachhhh ohhhhhh Lee Byung Hunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....... *puppy-eyes* I <3 Lee Byung Hun huehehe Lee Byung Hun emang cool n keren.. I love his smile :D

sistasi @ 2004-07-01T14:59:00

2004-07-01T07:03:28Z

kenapa yach tiba-tiba aja gw suka ama dia?
kenal aja kaga lho..
hihi.. cuma sering ketemu aja.
waktu itu pernah waktu gw dari kantor mau ke erpot ketemu dia di mrt.
dia tepat duduk di depan gw, karena kita engga kenal cuma tau aja huehehe.. gw males donk ngomong duluan.. n engga tau mo ngomong apa..
i supposed dia juga begitu deh..
gw tau dia org indo, dia jg tau gw org indo.
we work in the same company.
hohoho.. padahal ya engga cakep heran juga gw..
hahaha.. lol..
i think mebi karena gw engga punya temen co yang lebi tua gitu kali ye.. haha
fyi, temen² gw kecil kecil semua, well most of them.. lebi muda dari gw gitchu :(
haha.. btw gw kerja di sini tinggal 2 minggu nih by the end of this week.
hihihi semoga aja bisa kenalan ama dia yach..
nama aja gw kaga tau lol.. ;) ;)

The Guardian - Nicholas Sparks

2004-06-29T05:06:30Z

wala.. dasar.. ternyata dia balik mo baca buku gw..

kan gini karena tiap lunch kan si temen gw itu sukanya tidur n gw males tidur so gw bawa deh buku novelnya sodara gw buat baca² selagi dia tidur karena buku² gw boring semua..
waktu tadi dia pinjem buku gw krn dia tau gw suka bawa buku, gw pinjemin eh addicted dia..
emang sih gw aja pertama kali baca tu buku tertarik gitu..

bukunya berjudul 'The Guardian' yang ngarang Nicholas Sparks.
Tadi abis lunch tumben dia engga ngajakin duduk then tidur .. dia mo langsung balik ke kantor wahh.. bener² surprise.. pertama kalinya, bo, dia ngajakin gw balik langsung haha..
so alhasil ya udah kita balik n ternyata dia itu mo baca itu buku walah... itulah daya tarik sebuah buku huehehe..

doh sejak pake contact lens yang ada cylindernya koq jadi engga enak ya mata gw huh..

sistasi @ 2004-06-25T13:09:00

2004-06-25T05:12:03Z

wala...
barusan gw ngomong² ama temen gw yang engga percaya ama Tuhan.. dan adanya setan

gw waktu gw cerita ttg temen gw yang meninggal mungkin disebabkan karena dia dirasuki setan (untuk lebih lanjut refer ke blog gw yang di blogspot) terus dia bilang 'apa lu bener² percaya itu?' -> maksudnya adanya 'setan'

Wah.. ya jelas aja gw percaya di dunia ini ada setan. Terus dia bilang kalo umpama di kuburan ada something wierd itu pokoknya scientist udah bisa explain mengenai adanya hantu itu karena adanya phosphate. Wala.. dasar scientist... dia juga bilang semua yang terjadi di dunia ini bisa dijelaskan koq.

Wah... dasar orang engga percaya Tuhan.. jadi bingung juga deh gw ngomong apa.. terus gw bilang ama dia lah kalo masalah possessed by the devil gimana? dia bilang sih ada juga orang² di dunia ini yang ahli menghipnotis untuk orang itu melakukan sesuatu yang diinginkan orang itu. Wah ... i think bisa juga sih.. tapi wah susah d ngomongnya gw.. huaa.. mo share tentang Tuhan juga susah banget.. help donk gimana yach caranya gw bisa share the Gospel of God to her?

sistasi @ 2004-06-24T10:00:00

2004-06-24T02:10:56Z

gimana kalo ada orang yang sukanya memanfaatkan? dan yang dimanfaatkan itu loe?

for example nih.. tu org yang suka memanfaatkan orang bday, terus karena temen jadi kita harus give dia something donk.. n lu bingung juga.. terus dia tiba² dateng ke loe bilang eh lu bingung kan mo beli apa buat kado ultah gw? udah lu ke bodyshop aja beli ini.. ini.. ini... buat gw.. sampe di list down gitu.. nih gw kasi lu voucher 10 dolar dari bodyshop, thank u! (?????????)

well.. itu emang bisa dipahamin.. karena kita jg bingung mo kasi apa buat kado dia.. ok loh kita beliin udah dikasih nih.. ehhh ddnya dia dateng, ternyata itu mo dikasih ke ddnya dia. n kita dengan mata kepala liat sendiri wala.. bener² memanpaatkan.. at least.. jangan sampe ketahuan kita kek.. engga sopan!

another case.. dia suka memanpaatkan pacarnya! engga tau saking banyak pacar yang dia miliki sampe engga tau pacar yang sesungguhnya yang mana..
salah satu contoh memanpaatkan pacarnya: cc-nya dia hpnya udah jelek banget, butut banget! n cc-nya itu pelit amir.. uda kerja, duit banyak, engga mau beli hp, cuma mau minta gratisan.. alhasil sebagai dd-nya dia malu punya cc hpnya jelek gitu..

tu orang langsung telp salah satu pacar (orang yang bener² asli cinta dia sampe rela nungguin dia 7 th til now masi nungguin n dia engga begitu suka) n bilang 'eh hp loe udah jelek kan.. buat gw aja deh.. lu beli aja yang baru?' (hah??? harga diri lu di mana????) akhirnya tu pacarnya ngirimin hp nya ke dia n dia kasi tu 'hp bekas'</i> ke cc-nya!

it's just one of the examples.. there are a whole bunch more...
tsk tsk tsk...

wonder.. koq ada sih orang kaya gitu???????

mulutnya manis amat.. tingkah lakunya engga kuat deh... mirip banget ama PEREK! Engga ngerasa lagi...

duhh.. apa ini journal.. gw ganti jadi my evil journal ya? :S

sistasi @ 2004-06-22T12:29:00

2004-06-22T05:45:26Z

Sorry guys, ini a long rubbish posting, harap jangan baca kalo lagi ga ada waktu or bad mood or emang engga minat baca.

sebel... kenapa yach gw bisa sebel ama dia??????????????
pusing deh...

gw jadi sebel ama diri gw sendiri juga karena gw sebel ama dia..
sebel sebel sebel... menyebalkan muntab pengen muntah jadinya buekh..

sebel banget deh .. kenapa sih jadi orang bisa menyebalkan..
kenapa sih gw juga suka langsung meng-express-in perasaan gw (kalo sebel udah deh engga bisa dibendung.. dari muka gw pun keliatan kalo gw lagi sebeL) .. sebel buanget deh.. muntabbbbbbbbbbbbbbb...
gw jg sebel ama diri gw sendiri karena gw selalu mencoba menyenangkan orang lain alhasil gw sendiri engga seneng! gw merasa gw tuh orangnya sok, gw pengennya a, org lain pengen b, akhirnya gw do b, tapi dengan dongkol banget, sama aja donk ya ga sih?
kenapa sih gw tuh orangnya menyebalkan????????????????????????
bete deh sampe tenggorokan gw engga enak nih saking muntabnya.. sakit banget.. helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

Oh Tuhan kenapa yach gw bisa bete buanget ama dia?
orgnya engga ngapa2in sih tapi gw bete aja... menyebalkan.. sok innocent huh.. beteeeeeeeeeeee

gw tau sebagai anak Tuhan engga bole gini gitu tapi terus terang gw susah banget mengendalikan perasaan gw.. bisa bete deh.. jadi pengen nangis.. huh kenapa sih gw orgnya cengeng, kenapa sih air mata engga bisa dikendalikan? kenapa sih suka keluar sendiri, huh! I hate it when I cry.

terus entah kenapa gw jadi sebel sendiri ama diri gw yang sok rohaniah.
gw tugas usher di gereja, n kalo udah melayani di gereja harus macem², doa menara doa lah, doa pekerja lah, ikutan youth/dm lah, harus aktip di sekolah lah, sampe temennya sodara gw engga mau ngelayanin karena terlalu banyak doa-nya. I know it's all about God, not church. tapi entah kenapa gw sampe pengen quit berkali², emang sih Tuhan uda bae banget ama gw.. tapi kenapa yach gw tuh engga bisa merasa mencapai puncak??? *hix hix hix..* Why am I not satisfied of myself?? Kenapa ya gw engga pernah suka ama diri gw?? I dun like being me.

Pengen sih kadang² jadi orang² dunia, egois, seenaknya kaya mereka² tapi gw jg tau itu engga baek bla bla bla.. but still.. pusing deh... plus bete.. tenggorokan gw sakitttttttt *aaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhhh*

Kenapa banyak orang muna di dunia ini?
Ngaku² pelayan Tuhan, mainannya sex, clubbing n smoking pula..
Emang gw engga layak sama sekali untuk menge-judge but ..
Honestly gw gak abis pikir kenapa Tuhan ngebiarin ini terjadi?
Aktip lagi di gereja huh! munaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Udah terlalu gw ngeliat banyak orang muna ngelayanin di gereja, sampe gw negh liatin gereja kaya gitu. Gereja apaan tuh?
Gereja setan kali.. aduh Tuhan, jaga omonganku, slap me! Hit me! Kick me!

Mebi termasuk gw juga muna, gw mengakui gw emang muna, sok melayani tapi males²an cuma bersemangat waktu pelayanan aja.

Engga bisa imagine Tuhan koq biarin gitu ya.. koq bisa juga ketua di gereja itu membiarin ini terjadi heran gw... super heran..
I know again.. He's so kind to me but I dunno... bisa pusing aja..

Tulisannya di bukunya Rick Warren 'Purpose Driven Life' kita harus care ama orang lain juga, lah kalo emang orangnya engga mau di-care gimana? masa kita maksa? bilangnya kalo engga care engga baek bla bla bla.. Heran .. kan some ppl wants other ppl to mind their own business! Terus gimana?

apa gw lagi PMT ya? pusing deh..

pusing + sebel = muntabbbbbbbbbb..

O God please teach me to think according to ur thinking..
Help me to love everyone..
Help me to live this life...
I can't take it anymore... I'm sick of my life.. I dun like my life..

baru juga hari pertama puasa.. batal deh..

I HATE U, DEVIL!

oh.. I'm sorry, God!

Emang sih honestly sih gw hate my life, and yet gw itu pelayan Tuhan.. muna ga sih gw?

eniwei gw benci kenapa gw engga ada temen..
temen² gw di gereja pada bilang hah mana mungkin lu kan sukanya pegi² kenapa gak ada temen?
yak gw kaga ada temen karena temen² gw yang skrg ini engga suka pegi² n orang²nya moody-an n sukanya bermalas²an di rumah, engga suka pegi!

makanya tiap kali gw pegi ama sodara gw.
Gw punya banyak sodara, biasanya gw pegi ama 2 org sodara gw 1 uda mo merit 1 lagi masi umur 16 an.

yang uda mo merit jelas dia harus spend more time with her bf lagian gw jg engga enak mengganggu.

yang umur 16 th an, masi kecil, eniwei dia punya banyak temen gw jg engga mau donk suruh main² ama anak² 16 th an.. gw uda 22 lho! Tapi the fact is that I always go out with her. Sampe gw kaga ada temen.. karaoke bareng dia, hang out bareng dia, nonton bareng dia.. skrg dia balik indo gw kaga ada temen :'( *huhuuhu....* KENAPA GW KAGA ADA TEMEN YA??? Apakah gw se-menyebalkan itu sampe ngga ada temen? Tapi dapet temen juga dari mana ya?????????

makanya gw engga ada temen.. kalo tiap weekend gw bingung cari temen yang mo diajak pegi..
mereka juga, i think dun treat me as their friend anymore. Masa pegi² engga ngajak²!
Ralat: I dun have good friends.

Andai gw bisa balik ke jaman waktu gw masi skul di MLC, high school gw n TMC, sekolah embel² tapi temen²nya asyik, kompak, engga moody, engga egois, menyenangkan. Mereka semua skrg udah pada tinggal di Oz X( I MISS YOU, GUYS!

Temen bae gw yang satu hometown gw pun menghilang entah kemana dia..
di telpon-in engga perna aktip
gw tanya²in ke temen² gw yang di indo pada engga tau..

GOD, I WANT REAL GOOD FRIENDS!

I know how hard it is to be a God.. manusia itu banyak mintanya. Tapi kenapa Tuhan sendiri bikin manusia? For His OWN PLEASURE? Emang sih orang mencipta sesuatu untuk satisfy the creator's needs. Manusia oh manusia.. kenapa harus ada manusia?

I dun understand this world!
Cepetan aja deh kiamat.. I want to know the end.
Belagu amat sih gw? padahal gw juga merasa takut kalo the end of this world.
Are you afraid kalo umpama NOW, at this moment, dunia kiamat?

Aduh sorry kawan² gw jadi ngelantur ke mana².. ga tau nih kenapa.. padahal dari lunch terus sebel ama si 'dia' terus jadi nangis terus nulis ini jadi ke mana² engga karuan..

sistasi @ 2004-06-21T15:39:00

2004-06-21T07:44:49Z

oh ternyata livejournal ini kalo dibuka di laptop gw di rumah is just fine, entah kenapa kalo dibuka di sini tulisannya jadi naek naek ke puncak gunung tinggi tinggi sekali ..

Hihi.. buat yang penasaran ama riddle in the previous post, nih jawabannya:
KUNING - Norwegia, Air, Dunhill, Kucing
BIRU - Denmark, Teh, Marlboro, Kuda
MERAH - Inggris, Susu, Pall Mall, Burung
HIJAU - Jerman, Kopi, Rothman, Ikan
PUTIH - Swedia, Bir, Winfield, Anjing
So yang peliharya ikan yang rumahnya apa kawan-kawan? Yak benar.. hijau.... hehehe.. lol..

gw punya temen nih.. orgnya moody deh.. gw sendiri orgnya moody sih tapi gw masi ada pemikiran kalo moody.. kalo ada something bad happened to me or bener² ngeselin gw jadi moody.. pokoknya dia lebi parah d moodynya ama gw.. sampe gw engga enak deh kalo mo ngomong sala sedikit aja dia bisa moody.. seyem sekayi.. apalagi kalo dia uda mulai moody.. wahh.. ngomongannya jadi kasar n engga mengenakkan hati.. tatut deh..

btw.. kenapa yach org tuh sukaannya ber-moody² ria?